The Painter

There was this world famous painter. In the prime of her career she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.

After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.

Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office.

During the press conference one reporter noticed the eye on the wall and asked the doctor What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office especially that large eye on the wall?

To this the eye doctor responded I said to myself 'Thank God I'm not a proctologist.'

Aching Tooth

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth but don't worry it will take just five minutes.

Patient: And how much will it cost?

Dentist: It's $90.00.

Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???

Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.

Doctor Doctor

A doctor examining a woman, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

Polish Eye Test

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

Masonic emergency

A Doctor and Plumber are in the same Lodge. On Sunday Morning the Doctor wakes up to find his toilet blocked. So he rings the Plumber.

But I don′t work Sundays! Can′t it wait until tomorrow. The Doctor said. I don′t like working Sundays either but if you were in trouble, and felt unwell, Brother I would come round to see you

OK says the Plumber and goes round to the Doctor. Goes upstairs and looks at the toilet, take two aspirins from his pocket and throws them down the bowl. There he says If it′s no better tomorrow give me a ring and I will call round.